


In Our Eyes

by liarssandfakes



Category: Phan, dan and phil
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22048069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liarssandfakes/pseuds/liarssandfakes
Summary: A colorless world. The only shades the human eye can detect are black, white, and gray. 50 years ago, colors were everywhere your sight touched. They disappeared one day, and not many knew exactly why. Today, elders are the only ones left with a fading memory of color. The younger generations can't even begin to comprehend what a color may have looked like, as they only know what they have been told. They know that there is no way to describe a color, let alone imagine it.This all changes when the school's nobody, Dan, meets a scarily intelligent student named Phil.(my story can also be found on wattpad! @liarsandfakes)
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is nervous about his classes changing. He finds there's nothing to be worried about when he meets someone he'd never spoken to before.

"Howell! Eyes on the board," a voice calls, causing Dan's attention to be torn away from his thoughts. His cheeks heat up as he can feel his classmates begin to snicker at him- knowing that he probably hadn't been paying attention the entire class period. 

"Sorry, Mrs. Korell," Dan replies quietly, but loud enough so his teacher can hear him. Mrs. Korell gives him a warning glare before nodding her head.

"Just pay attention, Daniel," She says bitterly. Dan feels powerless as he begins to feel even more embarrassed. He gives a slight nod, acknowledging his teachers demand as she turns toward the board once again.

"As I was saying," She states as Dan immediately spaces out.

He wasn't normally like this- No. Dan usually actually cared for his grades, and always participated in class. Even though he wasn't an A+ student, he was still considered one of the 'smarter' students at his school. His mind was occupied today, though. He was far too anxious.

Dan had his time table rearranged this morning. While five of his classes stayed exactly the same, two of them were switched around. These two classes were his Math class, and his Drawing class. Instead of going to Math next hour, Dan's third hour, he would now be going to Drawing.

Dan was very comfortable in his original classes, as he knew everyone in them. He wasn't friends with the majority of them, but at least he knew everyone's names. At least he knew that nobody really paid attention to him unless he did something to gain their interest. Now that he was going to be in two classes with completely different people than he was used to, his nerves were eating him from the inside out. He felt like a new kid. Everyone hates being the new kid.

"Psst," Someone whispers, pulling Dan away from his thoughts for the second time. He turns his head, only to be met with his friend's eyes. PJ offers a pearly white smile- which Dan was quite jealous of since his own teeth have a slight gray tint to them- causing Dan to quirk a brow. 

"You're spacing out, nerd," PJ says lowly, attempting not to get caught talking in the middle of a class session.

"I know, sorry," Dan replies just as quietly. PJ frowns, noticing his friend's odd behavior.

"Is something wrong?" He asks, voice full of concern. Dan glances up at the board to confirm that their teacher isn't listening before replying, "Just nervous about my next class period,"

"No reason to be afraid, Dan," PJ says reassuringly, "people probably won't even notice that you weren't in their class before. You'll be fine,"

"I feel stupid for even being nervous," Dan replies, "am I being stupid?"

"Course not. Everyone gets anxious sometimes. It's alright," PJ says, giving another warm smile. Dan manages to smile back before their conversation is cut short.

"Liguori and Howell, is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Mrs. Korell says, raising her eyebrows.

"No, Ma'am," the boys reply in unison while Mrs. Korell begins teaching again, Dan returns to his thoughts. 

He knows he has nothing to be worried about. He knows he'll be fine. His nerves don't subside though. If anything, they grow stronger than ever.

*

"Mr. Turner?" Dan questions as he enters his now third period class. Luckily enough, he was the first student in the room. A rather short man by the name of Geoff Turner stands from his seat at the front of the room, waving Dan over.

"Dan! You're here a few minutes early. That's unlike you," He states when Dan arrives at his desk. Dan bites the inside of his cheek, glancing nervously around the familiar room. His heart beats rapidly as he forces a smile.

"Yeah, I figured I should ask you where I would be sitting, assuming that I wont have my old seat," He replies, awkward smile never leaving his face. Turner quickly grabs a stapled paper from his desk, dark gray eyes reading over It's content before pointing towards the back of the room. 

"Last table, first stool all the way to the right," He replies, causing Dan to nod with a small, "Thanks,"

Noticing that other students are slowly starting to pile in the room, Dan keeps his eyes glued to the light gray tile of the floor until he makes it to his seat. He plops down, dropping his book-bag onto the floor. After a few moments of staring at the table, he glances up, taking in the faces in the room. A few of them are familiar, of course, but there's also a few people that he'd never seen before. Nobody pays him any mind, though. Everyone keeps to themselves, not caring enough to acknowledge Dan's existence. Dan was absolutely fine with that. 

The sound of the stool next to him creaking causes him to jump, turning his head to look at his table-mate. He lets out a breath when he sees a somewhat familiar face staring back at him. Although, It wasn't entirely familiar. They've never spoken to each other before, but Dan knew who he was.

Phil Lester is Beverly Dell's boyfriend. Beverly was by far one of the most popular girls at his school, of course Dan knew who her boyfriend was. Phil also just so happened to be an honors-student. He was always the top of his class. He always spent his free-time in the school's library. That was something that never made sense to Dan. How could the school's 'Nerd' be dating the school's most popular girl? It seemed like something straight out of a book. They actually made quite a cute couple.

Phil's eyes were light. Such a light shade of gray that they almost seemed white under the classrooms luminescent light. His hair was black and about the same length as Dan"s- which was quite long. He has a very slender, slightly crooked nose and lips that were somehow thin but very plump at the same time. He was a good-looking guy, and anyone with eyes could see that. 

"Um, Hi," Dan says, eyes never leaving Phil's, "I'm Dan,"

"Yeah, I know," Phil replies, nodding his head, "You're PJ's best mate, yeah? My friend Chris knows him. Anyways, I'm Phil,"

"I know. You're Beverly's boyfriend,"

"You're friends with Bev?" Phil questions, "I've never heard her bring you up,"

"No, we're not friends. I just know, I guess," Dan replies.

"Ah, so you're crushin' on my girl? Stalking us? That right?"

Dan's eyes widen. The last thing he wants right now is to get on Phil's bad-side. "No! No, Everyone just knows that you and Bever-"

"Calm down. I'm only pullin' your leg, mate," Phil says with a chuckle, causing Dan to let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He smiles, letting out an awkward laugh.

"I was genuinely terrified for a moment," He says truthfully. Phil snorts.

"Please. I literally wouldn't hurt a fly. You're fine, man,"

"Alright, Everyone! Settle down!" Mr. Turner calls out, cutting Phil off. "You all know the drill. Get out your sketchbooks!"

Dan manages to look over at Phil one last time, who is surprisingly smiling back him, before pulling his sketchbook from his bag.

*

When the bell that indicates class is over rings, Dan is actually disappointed. While he and Phil didn't carry on a conversation for the rest of class, it was still nice to have someone who was actually kind to him around. Usually the only person who even looks Dan's way is PJ. He and Phil definitely weren't friends, but Phil was still nice to him. Dan was overjoyed.

Dan slings his bag over his shoulder, not even noticing that Phil was tapping the table with his pointer finger to get his attention. "Dan?"

"Yeah?" Dan asks, turning towards him. Phil grins.

"I'll see you later, yeah? It was nice chatting with you,"

Before Dan even gets the chance to reply, Phil had already grabbed his bag and left. It upset Dan, though. It didn't upset him one bit. It made him somewhat happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan deals with his home life- seeking comfort he ends up running to his neighbor, Lilian.

Dan Howell's home life wasn't terrible. He had a family that consisted of him, his mother, his father, and his little brother. They weren't loud- they were a very quiet family for the most part. People seem to strive to have a family like Dan's. A family that rarely interacts- a family that keeps to themselves. While most people want something like that, Dan absolutely hates it.

Sure, he hardly gets annoyed with his family, but he feels as if he doesn't know anything about them. It's true- he knows nothing. He feels terrible that he didn't even realize that it was his little brothers birthday. Leon didn't mind though. He brushed it off. Their father was a different story.

"I don't understand how you forgot your own brothers birthday. I'm sure he remembers yours," Their father, Derek, says with a dull voice. Dan sighs, turning his head to look at his younger brother. It was his thirteenth birthday. It was a big milestone. Dan should've at least gotten him a gift.

"It's not a big deal, Dad," Leon replies before Dan has the chance to speak, "It probably just slipped his mind. It happens,"

"I doubt it," Derek says, glaring at his eldest son. 

"I was very anxious today," Dan manages to mumble, "It did completely slip my mind. I'm sorry,"

"It's alright. No harm done," Leon replies, trying his best to give Dan a kind smile. 

Their mother, Amelia, enters the room with a small plate that supports a single cupcake. She sets the plate down in front of the youngest in the room, giving him a loving grin. "Happy birthday, my dear,"

"Thank you," Leon replies softly as Amelia ruffles his hair a bit. Dan squints at the cupcake, eyes seeming to stay glued to the single flickering white light of the burning candle. His family did this every year. They never made a whole cake, nor did they stick more than one candle into the cupcake. They deemed it unnecessary as it was only one persons birthday, not the whole family's.

"Dan?" Amelia asks, pulling her son from his thoughts. Dan looks across the table to his mother who furrows her brows at him. 

"Sorry. What's up?" he questions, eyes trailing over to his father.

"We're singing to your brother now. Care to join?" Derek says, causing Dan to give a simple nod. He sings, but still doesn't pay attention. He feels like a robot in this house. It's always the same thing. He knows exactly what is about to be said before it's spoken.

"Alright, love. You eat your cupcake and enjoy your night. Your father and I are gonna go finish up chores," their mother says, leaving Leon with a frown. 

"Don't you guys wanna do something? We can play a board game,” He suggests. 

Derek leans back into his seat, replying, "It's okay, Leo. You can go upstairs and play the video game you just got. That seems like fun, doesn't it?"

"I wanna spend time with you all," Leon says gently. Dan feels a stab to the chest at his brother’s words.

"Dan will play with you," Amelia says, her dark gray lips turning up into a smile. Dan can see the tiny bit of lipstick that smeared from her lips onto her teeth. He doesn't say anything about it though.

"I actually was gonna head over to Lilian's," He says, ignoring his brothers gaze.

"That's okay," Leon replies, voice lower than ever. The knife in Dan's chest carves even deeper.

"I can stay if you'd like," He says, chewing on his bottom lip, "Lilian can always wait. You can even come with! She treats me like a grandson, I'm sure she'd like you just as much,"

"No, It's okay. Have fun," His brother replies, not looking up from his cupcake.

Dan has nothing left to say. He looks up, only to be met with his parents eyes. They give him a disappointed look. He doesn't understand why. They're just as bad as he is, anyways.

He stands and leaves the house without another word.

*

"Hello, love," Lillian says as soon as she opens her front door, revealing her tall, seventeen year-old neighbor. Dan offers a smile as she steps aside, allowing him to step in. Dan doesn't awkwardly stand at the front door, waiting for Lilian to tell him where to go. He's comfortable here. He wastes no time, making his way to the couch and letting out a groan.

"Someone's had a rough day," Lilian states, closing the front door, "Want some tea?"

"Of course," Dan replies, watching as Lilian makes her way to the kitchen.

Five minutes later, she returns with two mugs full of steaming tea, placing one down onto the coffee table in front of Dan. She takes a seat next to him, smiling he she sees him grab the mug to take a sip.

"What's the problem?" She asks gently. Dan huffs, setting the mug down.

"Nothing, really. Nothing I want to talk about, at least," He says, glancing around the room. His eyes land on a photo album placed next to his mug. He looks back towards Lilian, quirking a brow.

"What's that?" He questions. Lilian leans forward, grabbing the album with shaky hands. She places it down in Dan's lap, motioning towards it.

"Go on. Open it,"

He slowly turns the cover over, revealing a page full of small Polaroids. He grins when he notices a younger Lilian smiling back at him.

"This is you?"

"Mhm," Lilian hums, taking a sip of her tea, "I was about your age in that photo,"

"That's a lovely dress you're wearing there," Dan says, pointing at a full body photo. Lilian laughs.

"That was my favorite dress. It was the most gorgeous shade of green. Emerald green, if I remember correctly,"

"There were different shades of green?" Dan asks in disbelief. His teachers failed to ever tell him that. Lilian snorts.

"There were different shades of every color, Dan. It's just like how there's many different shades of gray,"

"There's only one shade of white and black though, right?"

"Not exactly," Lilian replies, "There's different shades of white and black, too. They're just very similar. Our eyes can hardly tell,"

"What did green look like?" Dan asks after a moment of silence, "If you can explain it,"

Lilian stays silent for a moment. She chews on the inside of her cheek before replying, "Grass,"

"Grass is gray. Light gray if it's dead. Right?"

"That's how it is now, I suppose," Lilian says with a sigh. Dan frowns.

"What do you think my favorite color would be?"

Lilian gives a soft smile. "Blue, maybe,"

"What was blue?"

Lilian motions to nothing in particular, "The ocean. The ocean was blue. You've seen the ocean before, yeah?"

"I went to the states when I was nine. Florida, to be exact. The ocean looked really dark though. Almost black," Dan says. Lilian nods.

"It was beautiful. I wish you were able to see it,"

"It's alright," Dan said softly, "I can't miss something I've never experienced,"

After a few more minutes of complete silence (other than the ticking of the clock on Lilian's wall,) Dan decides to speak again.

"What color was a strawberry?"

Lilian chuckles. "Strawberries were red,"

They spend the rest of the evening like this. Dan asking what color something was, and Lilian replying with her best response. Attempting to compare the dark shades their eyes were left with to the vibrant hues she was once able to see, even though she knew Dan couldn't even begin to comprehend an actual color.

They stay like this until their tea goes cold and before they know it, it's time for Dan to go home. He stays a few minutes longer than he normally would. He didn't want to go home quite yet. In this moment, Dan feels safe. He feels as if he's learning more than his school has ever taught him. 

He tries his best to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two :)  
> i will not be using the real names of dan or phil's family members!  
> things will get more interesting soon, i swear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil have an interaction, causing something to change.

"Dan! Hey," PJ says, hooking his arm around Dan's shoulder. They’re luckily the same height, so there's no strain at all. Dan looks over to his friend, letting PJ steer him around the many students piled in the hallways. They bump into a few of them, but PJ just glares at them when they mutter a curse.

Dan sighs, still managing to give his friend a smile, replying, “Hey, Peej,”

“You were quiet in Korell’s class,” PJ says as they bump into yet another student. PJ unhooks his arm from around Dan’s shoulder. He grins at the slightly shorter boy. “Shit, sorry Chris,”

“It’s cool,” He smiles at PJ, but just nodding at Dan, simply acknowledging his existence, “I’ll see you next hour?”

“Course. I’m gonna walk Dan here to class first though,”

“Alright. Catch ya in a few,” Chris says, nodding once again before heading to class. PJ turns his head directing his attention towards Dan.

“Where were we?”

“You said I was quiet in class today.” Dan replies as they begin walking.

“Oh, yeah. Why was that?”

“I was just paying attention to our teacher, mate,” Dan said, shaking his head.

“Nah. Something was up. You don't have to lie to me,” PJ says gently as they arrive at Dan’s next class. He attempts to shrug PJ off, but PJ isn't having that. He grabs Dan’s wrist, pulling him closer, “Dan,”

“It was just a late night. Nothing to be worried about,” Dan mumbles, glancing around. Students start piling into the classroom he’s meant to be in. He should really get going.

“Nothing, innit?” PJ questions, not believing a word falling from his friends lips. Dan frowns.

“Yeah,”

PJ knew that wasn't true. Dan knew that PJ knew. God, Dan wanted nothing more than to tell him about last night. He still felt so shitty. He completely forgot his brother's birthday, and then continued to blow his brother off to go to their neighbors house. 

Dan doesn't say a word about it though. It probably would sound stupid. PJ would probably laugh. Dan would only feel even more terrible.  
A bell rings, indicating that classes have started. PJ curses under his breath, looking at Dan with a stone-cold face. “You’ll tell me about it later, yeah? You're not off the hook that easily,”

Dan smiles. He gently replies with, “Yeah. Later,”

“Okay. Now, get to class,”

Dan doesn't reply. He just turns, entering the classroom. Students look up as he walks towards his seat. His table mate looks up when he notices Dan’s presence.

“Oh. Hey, Dan,” Phil says as Dan plops down onto the stool.

“Hi, Phil,”

“You okay?” The slightly taller of the two asks. Dan quirks a brow.

“Why is everyone asking me that today?”

Phil gives a goofy grin, “You look exhausted,”

“I am exhausted,” Dan replies. 

“Oh, no! I’m sorry, mate. I hope you're feeling better soon,”

While Dan appreciates PJ and all of his constant worrying, he also really appreciates that his new friend, Phil, doesn't like to pry. Dan can tell that Phil would feel too awkward asking exactly what was wrong. That's something they both have in common.

“Thanks,” Dan says softly, nodding his head and looking down at their table.

“Alright, guys!” They hear their teacher call from the front of the room. Mr. Turner sits on his own desk, smiling at his class. “Today we’re gonna do something basic. Portraits. Draw a portrait of one of your table-mates, and turn it in at the end of class. Please be serious about this, as they will be graded. Don't forget to properly shade the portraits either,” 

Phil clicks his tongue, “I’m guessing we’re partners then?”

“Seems so,” Dan replies with a nervous laugh. He wasn't the worst at drawing, but he also wasn't the best. He didnt want to fuck up a drawing of Phil. Phil had a nice face and there was no way that he would want to make Phil look anything but pretty. And he meant that in the most friendly way possible.

“Do you need some paper and a pencil?” Phil asks, pulling his backpack from the floor. He pulls out a sheet of paper for himself before looking over at Dan.

“Oh. Um, Sure,” He replies. Phil shrugs, sliding another sheet of paper, along with a pencil over to Dan.

“How're we gonna do this?” Phil asks, his light gray eyes catching Dan’s much darker ones.

“What do you mean?” Dan asks, never breaking eye contact. Phil chuckles.

“Do you wanna draw me first? Or me, you? Or we could do it at the same time, I suppose,”

“Drawing each other at the same time seems most efficient,” Dan said with a small smile. 

Phil wastes no time, using his pencil to lightly sketch the shape of Dan’s head. He does it so effortlessly and it somehow is Dan’s exact head shape. Phil was definitely good at drawing. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

Dan bites his lip, following in Phil’s footsteps. He, of course, messes up almost immediately. He huffs, flipping the pencil over to erase an odd curve he had just made. Once the graphite is gone, he flips the pencil once again, causing it to fall from his hand and roll across the table.

“Whoops,” Dan says as the pencil softly hits Phil’s finger. Phil drops his own pencil, grabbing Dan’s and holding it out towards him.

“Here,” he says with a gentle tone. Dan offers a smile, reaching to grab it from Phil’s long, slim fingers.

As soon as their hands touch, Dan notices that something is different, No, it isn't a ‘sparks fly,’ moment. It's a scary different. It's no longer dark. The blacks, grays and whites disappear. Everything is vibrant.

Dan's eyes flicker upwards as his heart pounds against his chest. Phil stares back at him, eyes wide in shock. Their hands still clasp the pencil, skin barely touching, but touching nonetheless.

Phil's hair is still black. It’s still dark, and shiny and long. Everything else is different though. Dan can't find the words to describe his his lips. They're not gray. They're a soft hue of something Dan’s never seen before. His eyes- his eyes are absolutely captivating. 

Before Dan can even begin to form a sentence, Phil tears his hand away from the pencil, almost defensively. Everything goes normal again- dark. Dan’s shoulders begin to shake a bit.

“P-Phil?” He stutters, dropping the pencil for the second time, not caring when it rolls off the table and onto the floor, “What was that?”

Phil seems to be at a loss for words. His jaw tightens as his adams apple bops against the tight skin of his throat, “What was what?”

“Don't bullshit with me right now,” Dan’s voice is higher than it usually is, “You saw that. I know you saw that,”

“What are you going on about?” Phil says, voice low and steady. It gives Dan chills. 

“It wasn't dark,” Dan whispers, making sure nobody around could hear them. They would probably think Dan and Phil were insane.

“You sound stupid,” Phil replies, causing Dan to frown. Sure, they had only properly known each other for a day, but Dan knew Phil was a kind soul. He would never talk to anyone like this.

“I might sound stupid, but at least I don’t sound like a liar,” Dan states, challenging Phil. If he wanted to be rude, Dan could be rude right back, “Now, I’m gonna ask you one more time. What the fuck was that?”

“How the fuck do you expect me to know?” 

“So you did see it?” Dan says accusingly. Phil glares at him.

“No shit,”

“Why are you being so hostile?” Dan asks, voice growing louder, “Are you not scared right now?”

“Fucking terrified,” Phils growls. Dan shuts his mouth as Phil speaks again, “You’d better be telling me how the hell you did that,”

“What?” Dan says, squinting at Phil. He tries his best to keep his voice down, and hopes he's doing a good job, “Phil, I don't even know what that was. How would I cause it? It's obviously you,”

“Oh, fuck off!” Phil yells. Everyone is looking at the pair as Phil stands, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“Phil-” Dan begins, but Phil is quick to cut him off.

“Don’t fucking talk to me, you freak,”

Those words felt like a slap to the face. Nobody, not even the teacher says a word as Phil storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Dan bites his lip as he feels his eyes welling up with tears.

He thought he had a shot at making a new friend, and of-fucking-course he scared him away. Dan managed to scare Phil away over something that he had absolutely no control over. Over something that couldn't possibly be his fault.

“Dan?” Mr. Turner asks as he slowly approaches Dan’s table. The other students at the same table stare at Dan with worried eyes. Dan shakes his head, not wanting to speak.

“Can I be excused? I don't feel well,” He asks quietly. Turner nods, putting a hand on Dan’s shoulder as he rises to his feet. Everything stays dark. Nothing changes.

“Course,” His teacher replies. As soon as the word leaves his mouth, Dan is gone. His departure is a lot less dramatic than Phil’s though. He softly shuts the door behind him.

*

“Dan? Dan, What’s wrong?” PJ asks, pressing his back against the restroom wall, and sliding down into a sitting position. Dan had ran here as fast as his legs could carry him before he shot PJ a text. PJ was coming to his rescue not even a minute later.

“I don't know,” Dan cries, falling into PJ’s embrace as soon as his friend opens his arms.That was a lie, of course, He was upset because he just ruined a friendship that had just barely started. He fucked up big time. PJ just holds Dan’s body tight against his own, rubbing his back soothingly.

“Shh, It’s alright. You're alright,”

“Take me home,” Dan whimpers, pressing his face against PJ’s dark gray hoodie, “PJ, please take me home,”

“Okay, okay. C’mon, up. I’ll take you home,”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and PJ have a conversation about Dan’s new friend.

The following days aren’t easy. It’s a constant back and forth between anxiety and utter calmness.

Dan was absolutely anxious. He was anxious because it had been three days, and he hadn’t seen or heard from Phil. You see, Phil was never late to class. He never skipped. He had a such a clean record, it was shocking when Dan didn’t see him show up to their class together. 

On the other hand, this was somewhat comforting to Dan. If he didn’t see Phil, he didn’t have to have the awkward silence with him. He didn’t have to apologize for making Phil so angry and vice versa.

Phil not showing up to class was an awkward silence though, wasn’t it?

It was Friday now, and school had just been let out. As always, Dan met PJ at his locker. As soon as PJ sees his friend approaching, he closes his locker, offering Dan a smile.

“Hey,” He greets. Dan gives a small smile back, but PJ knows it’s not real.

“Are you ever gonna tell me what’s wrong? Do I have to figure it out on my own?”

“Nothings wrong, Peej. I’m feeling much better,” Dan replies, following closely behind his friend as they walk through the halls. Everyone had pretty much cleared out by now, so they didn’t worry about having to bump into anyone.

“I don’t like that you’re lying to me,” PJ says as they approach his car. He uses his key to unlock the passenger side for Dan before unlocking the drivers door for himself. 

“I’m not lying to you. Why would I lie to you?” Dan replies as he settles into his seat. PJ sticks the key into the ignition, causing the car to emit a beeping sound.

“I dunno, Danny boy. You tell me, yeah?”

Dan looks over at his friend as he begins to slowly back the car out of the parking spot. 

“If it was anything serious, you know I’d tell you, right?”

“It must be serious if you’ve been upset about it for three days. It must be serious if you had me take you home while you were bawling your eyes out,” PJ points out, eyes trained on the road as the car makes a turn. Dan leans back into his seat.

“If I tell you part of the issue, will you please drop it?”

“Of course,” PJ replies sweetly. Dan sighs.

“I thought I made a friend. He was really cool, you know? We got into a really heated argument and I think he hates me now,”

“You never get upset over stuff like that,” PJ says, quickly glancing at Dan, “You’re emotionless,”

“Hey,” Dan says with a laugh, “That’s not true,”

“Innit?” 

“It’s not,” Dan states as PJ makes another turn, “I mean, sure. This kinda thing doesn’t normally upset me. I can’t tell you about the argument though. If you knew the context, you’d understand.”

“Help me understand?” PJ asks. Dan shakes his head although PJ’s eyes aren’t even on him.

“I don’t wanna talk about it. It’s too confusing for me to understand, let alone you,”

“I respect that,” PJ says as he pulls into Dan’s driveway. He parks the car, finally turning his head to look at his friend. 

“Just know that I’m here for you. I’m always willing to listen. Even if that douchebag doesn’t wanna be your friend, I’ll always be right beside you.”

Dan smiles a real smile. “Thank you, Peej,”

“Speaking of that douchebag, who is he?”

“Oh, Um,” Dan bites his lip, pulling some skin from it, “Phil. Phil Lester.”

PJ’s eyes widen. “Beverly’s lad?”

“Yeah, that’s the one,”

“There’s no way,” PJ says, shaking his head, “I’ve hung out with him before with Chris. They’re mates. Phil is really cool.”

“I thought so too,” Dan replies. PJ slumps back into his seat.

“Do I need to say something to him?”

Dan’s head snaps towards his friend. “PJ! God, No! You two are mates!”

“Not quite mates, I’ve just been around him a few times,”

“Doesn’t matter!” Dan exclaims, “Please don’t get involved.”

“Why not?”

“You’re being overprotective, Peej,”

“He’s upsetting you!” PJ says, motioning towards nothing in particular, “He’s upsetting you, and I don’t like it. Whatever he’s done has been affecting you for three days. I don’t like seeing you like this,”

“You don’t have to see me like this,” Dan states, letting out a huff, “You have other friends to be around. Just let me wallow in my self-pity. I’m sure I’ll be fine come monday.”

“Daniel, I will cancel my plans tonight just to make sure you’re not wallowing in self-pity,”

“What’re you doing tonight?” Dan questions, looking towards PJ once again.

“Party. Chris invited me. It’s at Beverly’s house,”

“So Phil will be there,” Dan concludes. 

“Yeah, and I can kick his ass if you want me to,”

“Shut up, you noodle,” Dan says with a chuckle.

“I’m serious! Unless I don’t go. I can stay here and babysit you if you want,”

“You’re going to the party. You’re not canceling your plans for me,” Dan replies easily. PJ quirks a brow.

“Would you like to come with?”

Dan looks into PJ’s dark gray eyes. “No,”

“Aw, C’mon!”

“I don’t wanna see Phil!”

“Maybe you guys could work out whatever issue you’re having?” PJ suggests. Dan rolls his eyes.

“Yes, totally. With you hovering over us like a hawk,”

“Hell yeah, I’ll be right behind you. If he tries starting shit, he’s getting his jaw spinned,”

“PJ you literally can’t beat anyone up. You’re like a spaghetti noodle,”

“I’m tall though,” PJ replies with pride, “That’s intimidating on it’s own,”

“We’re the same height, Peej. Phil is a couple inches taller than the both of us,” Dan says with a laugh. PJ smiles.

“Seriously though. Will you come to the party? If you say no, I’m staying here with you,”

Dan is silent for a moment. This could be his chance to apologize to Phil. But there was also the chance that Phil would see him and kick him out. PJ wouldn’t let that happen though. And Dan’s sure that if PJ was on his side, Christ would be, too.

This was Dan’s chance.

“Fine. I’ll go,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this story is starting to seem more interesting <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and PJ go to Beverly’s party.

Later that night PJ manages to drag Dan out of the house with no more than an, “I’m staying if you aren’t leaving,”

As soon as they walk through Beverly’s front door, they’re met with the heavy scents of alcohol and marijuana. They weren’t surprised, especially PJ, since he went to these stupid parties quite often.

Dan’s hands latch themselves to PJ’s forearm as the curly-haired boy leads the way. The two attempt to avoid bumping into people, but fail miserably as the house is packed tight with drunken (and stoned) idiots.

“This is too much, Peej,” Dan says, grip tightening on his friend. PJ taps one of Dan’s hands with his own.

“It’s alright. Just stay close to me,” He replies easily. Dan glances around once they make it to a large room. The room flashes from a dark gray to white every few seconds.

“What is this? A rave?” Dan jokes, finally letting go of his friends arm. PJ chuckles.

“Maybe,” He says, squinting his eyes. He perks up once he spots someone from across the room. “Hey, I see Chris over there! You wanna come say hello with me?”

Dan bites the inside of his cheek. His has no problem with Chris, he just simply doesn’t really know him. Chris is PJ’s friend. Not Dan’s. He has no reason to say hello.

“No, I’m cool. I can just stay here.” Dan offers, causing PJ to frown.

“What? I just told you that I wanna stay close,”

“And we will,” Dan replies gently. Well, as gently as he can over the music that booms throughout the house. “It’s just that Chris isn’t really my mate. I feel awkward when I’m around you two and have nothing to say,”

“He thinks you’re cool,” PJ states, grabbing onto Dan’s wrist, giving a little tug, “This is how you make friends. C’mon,”

“No, it’s alright. I wanna stay here,” Dan says, pulling his wrist away and motioning towards the corner they were closest to. PJ sighs.

“Fine. I’ll be right back. Please don’t move, alright? Don’t accept anything a stranger gives you either, I swear to God-”

“Okay, Mum,” Dan laughs, “I’ll be fine for the few minutes you’re gone. It’s not like I’m gonna snort some coke,”

“You’d better not,” PJ replies with a a goofy grin. He pats Dan’s shoulder before disappearing into the crowd. 

Dan carefully makes his way to the corner he’d promise to huddle near. He stands there, arms crossed over his stomach, simply waiting for his friends return. 

Now that he was alone, he thinks that he should’ve gone with PJ. He probably looks pathetic, standing in a corner all alone, looking like he’s waiting to be rescued from the drunken teens surrounding him. 

His eyes wander across the room, eventually landing on a pair of people whom he didn’t even want to think about. Beverly and Phil.

They stand near the table of drinks, Phil’s arm wrapped tightly around Beverly’s waist. He pays no more mind to her though, as his head is turned, talking to someone. Dan’s eyes travel onto the person, who happens to be Chris. Chris and PJ.

Dan is once again glad that he didn’t say hello with his friend. 

His eyes snap back to Beverly, who is staring right back at him. She smiles as he turns his head away, embarrassed at the exchange.

He doesn’t notice as Beverly carefully moves from Phil’s grip, kissing his cheek as he continues to speak with Chris and PJ. He doesn’t notice as she drunkenly stumbles across the room.

He does notice when he looks up to see her standing directly in front of him though.

“Hey,” She slurs, still smiling, “You’re PJ’s friend, yeah? Um, Dan?”

Dan feels obligated to smile back.

“Yeah, that’s me. You’re Beverly?”

The short girl with nearly white hair giggles.

“Yeah! How’d you know?”

“Everyone seems to know you. This is your house-party, after all,”

“Oh, yeah,” She says, still giggling. She shakes her head, smacking her lips together. “What’re you doing here all alone, anyways? Who comes to a party alone?”

“I’m not here alone,” Dan states awkwardly, “I came with PJ,”

“Ah! I should’ve figured!” She replies, “Why’re you over here then? You can come hang out with us! I assume you already know the others- Chris and Phil. Are you nervous? Is it because of me? I don’t bite, Danny!”

Dan knew that Beverly didn’t bite. Phil sure did though.

“I dunno,” Dan lies, looking down at the floor, “Just felt awkward, I guess,”

“C’mon then!” Beverly says, grabbing Dan by the forearm. Dan doesn’t tear her grip away. He doesn’t want to somehow hurt her feelings. “Come with me!”

He allows Beverly to guide him to the other side of the room. Beverly doesn’t care that the bump into at least four people on the way. She doesn’t even say sorry.

“Guys! I brought a friend!” She announces proudly, grabbing the other three’s attention. PJ smiles.

“You could get him over here, but I couldn’t? The hell, Dan?” He jokes, causing Chris and Beverly to laugh. Phil and Dan stay quiet.

Dan can feel Phil staring holes into the side of his head. Dan doesn’t pay him any mind though. He tries not to, at least.

“Hi, Dan. It’s good to see you again,” Chris says, patting Dan’s back twice. Dan nods at him, not knowing what to say.

Beverly turns her head to look at her boyfriend who still doesn’t say a word.

“Are you gonna say hi to Dan, love?” She asks, words still slightly slurring together. Phil lets out a huff.

“What? Am I supposed to be happy that you just left us to go talk to him? What did you bring him over here for, anyways?”

“Mate,” Chris says, smacking Phil’s arm. PJ steps forward a bit.

“Cool it, Lester. Dan hasn’t done anything to you,” He says angrily. Dan bites his lip. He shouldn’t have come tonight.

“Babe, what is your problem? You never act like this,” Beverly asks, grabbing her boyfriends hand. He yanks it away. 

“Why don’t you go hang out with Dan? Since you’re so fond of him,” He spits.

“I dunno what your problem with Dan is, but you better fucking cut it out,” PJ says, stepping forward. Chris puts his arm out in front of him to hold him back. “You know damn well Beverly has nothing to do with whatever you two have going on. Why would you try bringing your girlfriend into this?”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Beverly questions, now turning to Dan. Dan stares into Phil’s eyes. Those light gray eyes that were full of something just days before. Dan just didn’t know what to call it.

“Nothing. We just got into a little disagreement in drawing. I didn’t think it was this deep,” He says calmly, smiling softly at Beverly. 

“Oh, bullshit,” Phil snaps. Chris gives Phil a disgusted look.

“Phil, what is your problem? You and I have been friends for years, I have never seen you act out this way,”

“Don’t blame him.” Dan says, looking down at his black shoes. He scuffs one against the hardwood floor, “Whatever happened was apparently my fault. I’ll go,”

“No, Dan, you’re not going anywhere,” PJ says. 

“Yeah, Dan, you don’t have to go,” Beverly chimes in. 

Phil scoffs. 

“What? So you’re on his side then?”

Beverly frowns.

“There is no choosing sides. You’re being an asshole,”

“You really are,” Chris adds. 

“No, guys, it’s okay,” Dan says, shaking his head. “I’ll just go home. I had a feeling this was gonna happen. I shouldn’t have even entered this house tonight,”

Even Phil frowns. He wasn’t a mean person. He knew this was genuinely hurting Dan’s feelings. He felt like shit.

“We’re both going then,” PJ says, “I’m the one who forced you here. We’re gonna go back to your place,”

“No, I’ll walk,” Dan replies with a sad smile, “Have fun. Don’t mind me,”

As he begins to turn and walk away, he ignores PJ, Chris, and Beverly as they all call out to him. He doesn’t hear anything from Phil. Phil stays silent.

“Wait, wait, wait!” PJ says, catching up to Dan, grabbing ahold of his shoulder and spinning him around, “I’m not staying here. I’m not letting you walk home. You’re not going home just to be alone.”

“Have fun, Peej,” Dan says, giving a weak smile. He pushes his hand off of his shoulder and walks out the door without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating sooner :( been busy


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil finally hold their first conversation since their “argument”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this book is going to be on wattpad as well as here. my username over there is liarsandfakes

The following Monday, Dan considered not even going to school. He was absolutely embarrassed. Not only was he terrified of seeing Phil, but he was nervous to see PJ.

He’d been ignoring his best friends texts and calls all weekend. Of course the two have gotten into arguments before that resulted in one ignoring the other for however long, but this was different. They didn’t get into an argument. Dan just walked out on him. With no explanation.

He couldn’t skip school though. PJ would probably end up walking out and come looking for him. Doesn’t matter where he would went, PJ would most definitely follow. He just gave Dan the weekend to cool off.

He did have the option to skip his class with PJ though. So that’s exactly what he did. Instead of sitting through Mrs. Korell’s painfully boring lesson, he sat alone in the restroom.

Everything was silent for awhile. Dan just paced the perimeter of the boys restroom with no interruptions. That is, until his phone buzzed.

**PJ: where are you?**

Dan lets out a sigh, slumping against the tiled-wall. He uses his back to slide down it, eventually ending up sitting on the ground. He forces himself to answer.

_Dan: bathroom. don’t come looking._

**PJ: why not? are you ignoring me?**

_Dan: idk. kinda?_

**PJ: i don’t understand why you’re upset with me**

_Dan: not upset with you, never with you. im upset with myself ig_

**PJ: don’t be!! i understand why you left**

_Dan: it was still shitty of me_

**PJ: daniel**

_Dan: what?_

**PJ: im gonna meet you in the bathroom and we’re gonna talk**

Before Dan can even begin typing a reply, the bell rings. Class is over. Dan is meant to be on his way to drawing now.

He decides to send one last message.

_Dan: too late. i gotta get to class. i’ll see you after school. bye, peej._

__

__

*

__

__

When he enters the classroom, he doesn’t scan the room like he usually does. He quickly gets to his seat, keeping his eyes trained anywhere but up. He doesn’t want to accidentally meet the gaze of anyone. Now was not the time.

__

“Dan,” a voice greets, causing him to jump. 

__

He turns his head, meeting Phil’s gaze. The dark-haired boy offers a smile that Dan doesn’t return.

__

“What do you want?” He asks, attempting to look anywhere but Phil’s face. He fails.

__

“To talk,” 

__

“Yeah, well you could’ve done that at the party,” Dan replies, “You decided to be an asshole though. There’s really nothing to say,”

__

“There’s so much to say,”

__

“Fuck off, Phil. I mean it,” Dan says, shaking his head. The amount of nerve Phil had today was unbelievable.

__

Phil doesn’t reply. Dan actually wasn’t prepared for what Phil did next.

__

He gently places his hand on Dan’s shoulder, causing everything to light up. Dan begins to feel that same panic he felt last week.

__

It’s not dark.

__

Dan manages to jerk his body away from Phil.

__

Dark.

__

“Stop,” He says, voice trembling. He was beyond uncomfortable. This isn’t normal. Not normal at all.

__

“Not until we get this figured ou-”

__

“Fuck you,” Dan spits lowly. Phil glances around, taking notice that class hasn’t begun yet.

__

“Come with me. Come with me, please,”

__

“Why should I?” Dan questions. Phil huffs.

__

“Listen, I’m sorry for being an asshole before. It was wrong of me. I’m sorry. I was scared and I needed time to process everything,”

__

“That doesn’t make it any better,” Dan replies.

__

“I didn’t say it would. Now, can you please follow me?”

__

“Why?”

__

Phil touches Dan’s shoulder once again. 

__

Dan looks into Phil’s eyes.

__

Why’re they so bright?

__

“So we can figure this out together,” He says, pulling Dan from his thoughts. Dan’s body shakes slightly as he gives a nod.

__

They manage to sneak out of the room right as class begins. Phil pulls Dan around the corner by his arm. Dan spends those few moments looking around the hallway.

__

Vibrant.

__

It’s gone just as soon as it came.

__

“Okay, now what?” Dan asks, tilting his head to the side. He felt like this was pointless. Phil said it wasn’t his own fault. Dan knew it wasn’t his own fault. So, what could possibly be going on?

__

“I did some research over the weekend,” Phil begins. Dan chuckles.

__

“Oh, I’m sure you did,”

__

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

__

“Nothing, Carry on,”

__

Phil glares at Dan. Dan just laughs.

__

“As I was saying, I did a lot of research. It didn’t take much digging. I mean, it’s common knowledge that all of humanity lost their sight of color 50 years ago,”

__

“Yeah,” Dan says, shifting on his feet.

__

“So, I think that thing we’re seeing is color. Like, actual colors. Not just black and white,”

__

“And gray,” Dan chimes in. Phil rolls his eyes.

__

“You get what I’m saying. Those things? They’re colors,”

__

“That doesn’t make sense,” Dan states, not believing the words falling from Phil’s mouth. Phil sighs.

__

“I know it doesn’t. It makes absolutely no sense. Matter of fact, it’s kinda impossible. Nobody has seen an actual color in so, so long,”

__

“But we can.” Dan finishes. Phil nods.

__

Dan thinks back to last week when he was speaking to Lilian about color. An idea sparks.

__

“Should we ask someone older than us? Someone who was alive 50 years ago. Some of our teachers are that old! Hell, some student’s parents are that old.”

__

“No,” Phil says quickly, “Absolutely not. They’re not gonna believe us. Even if they do, what if someone in higher power finds out? Someone involved with the government? Surely they’d try figuring out how this happens,”

__

“We know how this happens,” Dan points out. He places his pointer finger on Phil’s arm, “We touch, there’s color. That’s how it happens,”

__

“But the reason why it happens? We don’t know. We have no explanation behind this,” Phil replies. 

__

Dan let’s his hand drop to his side, glancing around the hall. Nobody seems to be around. They’re alone.

__

“You’re smart. Can’t you do that brainy stuff and find out?” He asks. Phil shakes his head.

__

“Not that simple. Nobody even knows why we lost sight of color in the first place. Let alone why two boys can see it after it’s been missing for 50 years.”

__

Dan bites the inside of his cheek. 

__

“Have you told anybody? Beverly? Anyone?”

__

Phil’s eyes widen, “Hell no! I don’t want her thinking I’m off my rocker! Why? Have you told someone?”

__

“No, I haven’t told anyone. I kinda wanna tell my neighbor though,” Dan replies.

__

“Why would you do that?”

__

“Because she knows what color is,” Dan says quietly, “She’s tried describing it to me so many times before. She would want to hear about this. You can come with,”

__

“No. You can’t tell her. I don’t even think we should be friends, Dan,” Phil says. Dan furrows his brows.

__

Was Phil actually being serious right now?

__

“What? What happened to wanting to figure this out together?”

__

“I want to, but what if this is dangerous? This is so fucking insane, Dan. As much as I would like to understand and learn from this, I dont wanna end up getting hurt. I don’t want you ending up hurt either. I think it’s just best for the both of us,”

__

Dan stays silent. Phil really must be off his rocker if he thinks Dan is just gonna let this slip past them. 

__

Whatever was going on is special. This surely isn’t something that anyone else can do. Dan and Phil had something to do with this.

__

“Dan? Can you please say something?”

__

Dan looks back up, meeting Phil’s eyes.

__

“What if we don’t tell anyone?”

__

“Huh?” Phil hums.

__

“We don’t have to tell anyone. We can keep it a secret. We can wait it out. If we don’t figure this out, we can ask someone for information if we are both comfortable with it. I just,” Dan takes a break, looking down. Phil’s hand slowly moves out in front of them. He holds out his pointer finger . Dan does the same, letting their skin meet. The colors return, “I like this. Everything is pretty.”

__

“Yeah,” Phil agrees, bending his finger so that it hooks around Dan’s. He meets Dan’s eyes. They’re different. Still dark, but much different nonetheless, “It is pretty, innit?”

__

Dan chuckles. They keep their fingers hooked as they both take a look around. 

__

Not everything was colorful. The walls and flooring were still just boring shades of gray. Paintings that were placed on the walls seem to have more color than anything.

__

Phil’s eyes trail back to Dan. The slightly shorter of the two doesn’t notice. Phil takes a moment to observe him.

__

His eyes and hair were the same color. His skin was just slightly darker than Phil’s. His shirt seemed to have some sort of hue laced through the fabric, but he wouldn’t know what color the hue was. 

__

Everything was still pretty.

__

“Phil? You’re staring, mate,”

__

Phil drops his hand, causing their fingers to unhook. Dan nearly frowns at the loss of contact. 

__

“Sorry. I just,” He pauses, trying to find the right words, “Wanted to see you. Like, actually see you. You look different, you know?”

__

“Yeah, I know. I could say the same about you,” Dan replies with a chuckle, “Your eyes are really cool. I don’t know how to explain them. They’re beautiful, if that makes sense,”

__

Phil feels heat rise to his cheeks.

__

“Your hair is still black though,” Dan adds. Phil laughs.

__

“It’s actually not naturally black! I use that hair-dye stuff to make it darker,”

__

“Ah. I wonder what color your natural hair is then,”

__

“A darkish gray,” Phil replies, shrugging his shoulders, “You’re not really missing much,”

__

“No, I wonder what color it actually is. It can’t be just gray, right?”

__

“I suppose not,” Phil mumbles. Dan grins.

__

“So, can we be friends then? We don’t even have to, like,” Dan motions between them, “Touch? We can keep the distance if you’d like. I just genuinely enjoy your presence, Phil. I feel like we could be good friends,”

__

Phil steps closer to him, running his finger down Dan’s forearm.

__

“We can be friends. I like talking to you,” He replies. He now glides his finger up Dan’s forearm, “We can do this, too. The color thing, I mean. If you’re comfortable, of course,”

__

Dan doesn’t hesitate to reply with, “I’m comfortable.”

__

**Author's Note:**

> for updates on this book (and any others if i get around to it in the future) please follow me on twitter! @liarssandfakes
> 
> catch this same story over on my wattpad! @liarsandfakes


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